I am honestly so much more content sitting in my room alone at night smiling to myself as I watch my favorite t.v. shows, than out in in uncomfortable situation that involves me pretending to be having the time of my life with boring people, who don’t care about me, doing pointless things.
There’s nothing left for me to do, like I can’t talk to anyone about this because it would do absolutely no good, and it is honestly something that would benefit no one. Not even me. Even the mentioning of this topic to anyone would have horrible consequences, so it’s just best to keep it to could myself. Use it as a sick kind of motivation. Make it some kind of game. Wait what the fuck am I even saying anymore?
I’m just sad right now okay? And I tomorrow is just another day of pretending that I’m alright. goodnight.